Lessons From the Rescuers

Asked to speak to a boys-only Sunday school class, I gave a short talk about bullying and emphasized the importance of caring for the weak and the oppressed, especially the physically and mentally challenged, whom bullies often target.

I told the boys that God made them male for a reason.  I said that with this reason come certain responsibilities: namely, most males have greater physical strength than most females, and God wants us to use this strength justly and courageously, so we can be loving toward and protective of others.

I explained how the Greeks thought that the ideal man is a courageous man, someone who sacrifices for others, and how this belief should be embraced by Christians as well.  I illustrated how without courage, our lives will be miserable, and at best our faith will be weak.  I gave them a new word to savor: thumos.

As I talked more and more about the gift of courage and how we can be truly heroic through our loving strength, the kids literally leaned forward in their chairs.  I don't think even one broke eye contact with me.  I asked them questions, and they responded with fervor.

One boy, with no small amount of shame, admitted to the group that he had been bullied for a long time.  Another boy admitted to being a bully.  The whole class came alive when I told them God has given them special abilities to protect others, that among these gifts is a certain kind of courage he has placed in their souls, courage that needs to come out.  I told them that the group of kids who "run" most schools—who set the moral thermostat for good or for ill—are male athletes.  If they bully, the whole school tends to bully, but if they use their power justly, the school is a better place to be.

The boys loved this thumos talk.

But the Christian men in the room, the ones whose duty it is to stimulate and direct the boys' spiritual growth, couldn't have been more bored.  One fell asleep.  One kept giving me sleepy-cow eyes.  Another had a bemused look on his face, like, "What planet are you from?  This isn't what we had in mind."  One stared at me with a sort of muted horror, as if I were teaching these young guys something sinful.

I was reminded of what Robert Baden-Powell said: "Manliness can only be taught by men, not by those who are half men, half old women."  I thought of C.S. Lewis's view of courage as "not simply one of the virtues but the form of every virtue at the testing point, which means at the point of highest reality."  If I had spoken these words aloud to the men in the room, I think they would have fallen pretty much on deaf ears.  On the whole, courage, boldness, heated vitality—thumos—has little or nothing to do with how we're spiritually training our kids.